


A Swirling of Snowflakes

by RadiantSeraphina (Lady_Arrowwood)



Category: Kirby (Video Games), Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Era, F/F, F/M, Gift Giving, M/M, Snow and Ice, Winter Solstice, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-01 00:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12693249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Arrowwood/pseuds/RadiantSeraphina
Summary: A collection of short holiday and winter pieces primarily from @lillie-writes "137 Winter Writing Prompts" list on Tumblr, as requested by my dearly valued mutuals. Tagged by pairing for easy searching!





	1. Snow? S'no Thanks! (Metadede)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tumblr Followers (RadiantSeraphina)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Tumblr+Followers+%28RadiantSeraphina%29).



> Anon said: 101 metadede?????? sorry I don't know thank you I'm so scared
> 
> Prompt 101 was "You're cute when you're freezing."
> 
> \---  
> caballerito: little knight  
> te amo: I love you  
> espantoso: terrifying  
> Si al primero no tienes éxito, paracaidismo no es para ti: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.*
> 
> *I hope. My Spanish is adequate, but I'm not entirely sure I got the conjugations right.

“Just you and me. Just like old times,” Meta Knight muttered. “It’ll be fun; he said! It’ll be great; he said!”

 

Meta Knight pulled his cape more tightly around himself and trudged behind Dedede, who was having a field day in the deep snow of White Wafers. The Pengu enjoyed it so much, in fact, that he burst into song periodically. Meta Knight had endured every single Solstice carol ever sang in the kingdom of Dreamland, and while Dedede wasn’t a _terrible_ singer, some of those songs were clearly beyond his vocal range. The only silver lining to the proverbial cloud was that Dedede left massive footprints in the snow, and if Meta Knight hopped in them, he could avoid being overwhelmed. Snow that reached Dedede’s belly was snow that nearly reached Meta Knight’s mouth.

 

He missed one of Dedede’s footprints and fell into the snow with a faint ‘poof’ noise. Meta Knight may have made an embarrassingly high bat-like squeak of surprise, too, although anyone who mentioned it would meet Galaxia’s blade.

 

Curse Magolor for sending them on this quest. If they weren't already so far from the  _Lor Starcutter_ , Meta Knight would've marched right back to the ship and told Magolor to find his own ship parts instead of being a worthless louse and making  _them_ do it. 

 

"Hey, Meta, you need help there?"

 

Meta Knight unsheathed his wings long enough to fly onto firmer ground. He put them away equally quickly; earlier, ice crystals had formed on them, proving that Meta Knight’s wings—no matter how strong and beautiful—were not good for cold weather.

 

Dedede wolf-whistled. “Looking good, little knight. You’re cute when you’re freezing,” Dedede said, adding a wink.

 

Had it carried any magical properties, the force of Meta Knight’s glare could’ve frozen flames.

 

“Now, don’t give me the cold shoulder,” Dedede replied, snickering at his pun.

 

“I don’t know why you insisted I accompany you on _this_ trip. Why couldn’t it be somewhere warm?”

 

“Because then, you wouldn’t want to cuddle!”

 

“Cuddle. I do not…” Meta Knight trailed off.

 

“I’m waiting,” Dedede said, crossing his arms.

 

“I do not…cuddle.”

 

“Your entire childhood says otherwise.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“Is that how you say ‘I love you’ in your native tongue, _caballerito_?” Dedede asked.

 

Ugh, that ridiculous pet name. “You know it’s _te amo_ , and—”

 

“Ah! I love you, too!”

 

Meta Knight scowled to hide that he was—maybe—a little bit charmed by Dedede’s triumphant grin and his declaration of affection. Just a little bit.

 

A very, very minuscule amount.

 

“Can I climb in your robe?” Meta Knight asked. “For efficiency, of course. I’m slowing you down.”

 

“You ain’t gotta make excuses with me.”

 

Dedede crouched close to the ice, and Meta Knight climbed into Dedede’s robe. The puffball put his paws around Dedede’s neck and adjusted until his feet were on Dedede’s shoulders. It was very comfortable being nestled between the fur-lined robe and Dedede’s thick plumage. “Onward, mush,” Meta Knight said, jokingly tapping his sabatons against Dedede.

 

“I didn’t know you were so eager to ride me, Meta Knight. Thought you knights all had vows of chastity?”

 

“ _You_ are—did you want to go at this solo just so you could make bad innuendos?”

 

“ _Bad_? That was brilliant,” Dedede said, resuming his walk through the snow.

 

“Brilliant? I’m sorry. Maybe I’m losing something in translation. That innuendo was _espantoso_ , which does not translate to _brilliant_.”

 

“Look at you. Rubbing your blatant bilingualism in my face!”

 

Meta Knight chuckled. “Si al primero no tienes éxito, paracaidismo no es para ti.”

 

Dedede boomed with laughter. “Wise words, although I think something winter-themed mighta been better,” Dedede replied.

 

“Sorry. That’s all you get. You’ve exceeded the allotted amount of Meta Knight wisdom for the day.”

 

Dedede raised a paw and patted Meta Knight’s head. In response, Meta Knight snuggled deeper into Dedede’s plumage. While Dedede might’ve exceeded his Meta Knight-offered wisdom, the knight might be willing to let Dedede rack up some brownie points.


	2. S'no Creamer for You (Metadede)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of nerd-arcana's request for: "Meta and Dedede arguing about the quality of eggnog for half an hour. Also Dedede didn't know you're not supposed to drink flavored coffee creamer by itself!"
> 
> *For some reason, I could come up with 'Dedede doesn't know how coffee creamer works' easier than arguing over eggnog, so I decided to split this into two pieces.

Meta Knight de Brillante Armadura frowned, bemused, at the contents of the fridge. His coffee creamer was gone. Again. Futilely, he shifted around the contents of the fridge, as if he could magically produce the coffee creamer with the sheer strength of his will. No such creamer appeared. For Nova’s sake, he’d only had that chocolate peppermint creamer for _two days_. How had someone gone through an entire bottle of coffee creamer in two days? Even if he, Dedede, and Bandanna Dee all used it, surely, they wouldn’t have used it all so quickly?

 

However, it _was_ finals week, and despite Meta Knight’s numerous lectures on the subject, Dedede still insisted on last-minute cramming that kept him up all hours of the night. Although if Dedede was drinking _that_ much coffee, they probably needed to have a talk before Dedede landed himself in the hospital for a caffeine overdose.

 

Meta Knight nudged the fridge shut with his foot and woefully eyed the pot of very black and very disgusting coffee.

 

Curses to whichever of his roommates—probably Dedede—had done this to him.

 

Meta Knight entered the living room and crossed his arms, waiting. Dedede lounged over the sofa, his Introduction to Biology textbook spread across his lap and a cache of papers spread over the sofa and floor. Opposite him, Bandanna Dee sat in his usual chair, his laptop open across his knees.

 

“Who is responsible for using all my coffee creamer?” Meta Knight asked.

 

Dedede raised his hand; his gaze never left his textbook.

 

“In _two days_? How much coffee have you been drinking?”

 

“Doncha mother-hen me about this. I’m trying to survive finals. We ain’t all as smart as you.”

 

“Dedede, I bought that two days ago.”

 

“Yeah, well, you only got one. Maybe you should’ve bought a twelve-pack.”

 

“Coffee creamer doesn’t come in twelve-packs, and even if it did, you shouldn’t be drinking enough coffee to use twelve bottles of creamer!”

 

Slowly, Dedede looked away from his textbook. “Wait a minute. Are you saying the coffee creamer don’t contain coffee? You’re s’posed to mix it with coffee?”

 

Dear Nova preserve his soul. Meta Knight took a deep breath. “Dedede, are you telling me you _drank it straight_?”

 

Dedede’s face flushed.

 

“I can’t believe—you’ve never heard of coffee creamer?”

 

“I drink it black! And when I want something more complicated, I have someone make it for me! I mean…c’mon, Meta!”

 

“You drank an entire bottle of chocolate peppermint coffee creamer. I can’t believe you.”

 

“I’ve never used creamer either,” Bandanna Dee admitted awkwardly.

 

Sometimes, Meta Knight forgot that he lived with a duchess’s son and a former nobleman. With a sigh, Meta Knight grabbed his wallet from the coffee table and the keys to the Halberd. “I’m going to buy more. Please, save coffee for me.”

 

“I can give you something sweeter than coffee creamer,” Dedede said, batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly.

 

“That come-on was so bad it physically hurt me.”

 

Bandanna Dee snorted. “I hope you were talking about kissing, Dedede.”

 

“Obviously!”

 

Meta Knight shook his head and threw his coat on, hopefully simultaneously hiding that he was going to the store in his pajamas. Sure, that behavior wasn’t entirely unexpected from a university student, but someone in the household had to be the picture of grace and dignity. It sure wasn’t going to be Dedede binge-drinking bottles of coffee creamer. Still, Meta Knight reflected, Dedede would probably appreciate a chocolate-laden Frappuccino from the coffee shop around the corner.

 


	3. It's Not a Re-Gift (SusiexSectonia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For anon who said: 8 - sectonia and susie?? i know you mentioned being interested in them a while back
> 
> Incidentally, they're right. I've expressed an interest in Sectonia and Susie bonding over their simultaneous redemption arcs and engaging in copious amounts of femslash, so here goes!

Susie, the once proud and beautiful secretary of Haltmann Works, cast a bemused look at the object in her hands. Then, she looked at the gift-giver. Susie had heard whispers that this woman, Sectonia, had once been the glorious ruler of Floralia, She Who Holds the Stars. Susie would never call Sectonia’s present form _glorious_. Sectonia was a small, brown insect-like creature with white hair and shimmering, purple web-like patterns across her body. She was cute, in a cute monster girl kind of way, but it was really her voice that commanded attention. Her voice was feminine and haughty, befitting someone high-ranking; that gorgeous, regal voice could corrupt even the most chaste of priests.

 

Susie’s eyes trailed back to the sword in her hands. “Thanks for the…uh…gift?”

 

“For slaying your foes,” Sectonia said, her violet eyes focused on Susie’s face. “Perhaps, not…the Hero of the Lower World or the knight. Or the king. But a lady can never be too careful. I’m sure even a place like this has a few degenerates wandering around.”

 

Not the hero, the knight, or the king.

 

“Would you wish to fight them if you could? Kirby and…Meta Knight?” Susie asked, stumbling over the second name. "Dedede?"

 

Admittedly, Susie  _had_ been attracted to Meta Knight. To that power and courage. To the way Meta Knight’s eyes flashed with defiance. But her plans of having that powerful knight subservient to her had been thwarted with the rest, and Susie had no illusions about the sort of reception she’d receive if she ventured into Dreamland proper.

 

“No. In hindsight, my actions were…my own,” Sectonia paused. “Mirror or no. I hurt my people. I hurt other people. I was in the wrong.”

 

Susie sighed and ran her finger across the sword’s hilt. Sectonia's gift was beautiful and expected; Sectonia treasured little more than her rapiers, Moon and Blossom, so it made sense that the once-queen would deem a sword to be a worthy gift. Susie, however, had never held a sword in her life. All she knew of swordplay came from observing Meta Knight. “There’s something…peaceful about living out here,” Susie said.

 

The women both gazed upon the lush, green fields and the bright blue sky. A faint breeze stirred the grass, making it shine in the sunlight. This was another world entirely from the cold steel and mechanical sublime of Haltmann Works, but it was a beautiful world, nevertheless.

 

“Yes,” Sectonia said, “And I find it helps to have…good company.”

 

Susie nodded. “Yes,” she admitted, “But then, I’ve always enjoyed the company of powerful people, men and women alike.”

 

When Sectonia smiled, she showed her fangs—sharp and shining. “I may not be the king’s champion, but I can teach you things that courtly knight never could,” she purred. “Since we’re hiding in exile, we might as well make the most of it, yes?”

 

Yes, the most of it. The most of living in this foreign, strange, peaceful place. Make the most of living with her failures, with her dead father, with her continued existence.  But then, Sectonia knew a bit about living with failure and lost loved ones.

 

“Perhaps,” Susie said, “You can start by showing me how to use your present.”

 

Sectonia grinned. “Nothing would bring me greater pleasure, Susanna.”


	4. Death by Chocolate (The Four Nerds/Metadede)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toon-Kirby/StarRodPiplup requested: 96-98 with the four nerds. (Don't worry, they're connected!)
> 
> 96\. “tea is so much better than cocoa!”  
> 97\. “Cocoa is superior to tea!”  
> 98\. “Why are we fighting over beverages!?!”
> 
> *I actually spliced in part of the Winter Solstice/Christmas Expy chapter from DLU, partly because it fits really nicely with the prompt and partly because I, unfortunately, won't have it posted by Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! The infinitely talented @metaknightmare drew some awesome (and totally adorable) fanart for this chapter [here](http://metaknightmare.tumblr.com/post/167776482616/as-he-entered-the-living-room-kirby-took-a-few)!

When Kirby entered the dorm, it smelled of vanilla, chocolate, and scented pinecones. Kirby dropped his bags packed for his trip home by the door. "Hey, guys!" Kirby called.

 

As he entered the living room, Kirby took a few seconds to survey the bizarre scene before him. It looked like the site of an epic battle if that battle was being waged with frightening amounts of snowflake wrapping paper, metallic ribbon, and bows. Dedede held Meta Knight pinned to the ground, half-buried beneath a pile of crumpled wrapping paper. Gleefully, Bandanna Dee darted around, trying to tape a giant, silver bow in Meta Knight’s hair. “Come on, my favoritest knight,” Dedede cooed. “It’d make me _so_ happy.”

 

“That’s because you get off on my misery!” Meta Knight snapped, trying to twist free.

 

Kirby cleared his throat. Meta Knight tried to take advantage of the moment and managed to roll onto his back, only to be thwarted by Dedede’s hands on his wrists. Dedede planted his knee squarely on Meta Knight’s stomach as if to add insult to injury. Bandanna Dee darted in and attached the bow to Meta Knight’s hair. “Got it!” Bandanna Dee exclaimed.

 

“I hate you both,” Meta Knight groaned. “What did I do to deserve this?”

 

Dedede looked over his shoulder, his eyes bright with mischief. “Oh, Kirby! Join us! We’re just torturing Meta Knight!”

 

“Stop trying to corrupt him!” Meta Knight protested.

 

“Be quiet, pretty-boy,” Dedede said. “Remember what I said about gagging you?”

 

“Oh, _just_ try it.”

 

“ _Careful_ , Mety Knight. I bite back pretty hard,” Dedede purred.

 

“That was the _worst_ attempt at a seductive voice I’ve ever heard,” Meta Knight said. “You sound like a penguin.”

 

Dedede laughed. “What are you doing?” Kirby asked hesitantly.

 

“I told you,” Dedede said. “We’re torturing Meta Knight. Because he—um…”

 

“Isn’t in the holiday spirit,” Bandanna Dee said.

 

“Traitor! You started this!” Meta Knight protested. “You said Dedede wasn’t—”

 

“I don’t see how trying to drown him in wrapping paper is going to help,” Kirby said.

 

“Thank you! Finally, someone reasonable—”

 

Dedede leaned down and nipped Meta Knight’s collarbone.

 

“—ow! You son of a bitch!”

 

Meta Knight looked horrified, while Dedede boomed with laughter. “I cain’t believe you just called my mom a bitch. I cain’t wait to tell her!”

 

“That’s not—I didn’t mean it like that! I—that’s still not nearly as inappropriate as you pinning me to the floor and biting me! I’ll tell her _that_!”

 

Dedede tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips against Meta Knight’s neck. “Meta Knight! Don’t try and distract from what you’ve done!”

 

“I hate you,” Meta Knight said. “More than _anything_.”

 

Although the way Meta Knight groaned and tilted his neck, allowing Dedede a better angle, seemed to cast doubt on precisely how much Meta Knight hated it.

 

“Are you sure?” Dedede asked.

 

Meta Knight opened his mouth like he meant to argue, but no words came out. Abruptly, Dedede clambered off, leaving Meta Knight looking some odd cross between bemused and flustered. Meta Knight grabbed Dedede’s shirt and pulled him back down. “Yes, _I hate you_ ,” Meta Knight said. “You tease.”

 

They kissed. Kirby glanced away, feeling awkward. It wasn't that he minded them kissing. It was just that Kirby had never been really sure how to react to public displays of affection. Both of his parents had hated them, and Kirby's relationship experience wasn't exactly extensive. Bandanna Dee sighed and patted Kirby’s shoulder. “It’s like I’ve been living with two characters from a cheesy holiday romance for the past week,” Bandanna Dee said. “It’s terrible. Last night, they were cuddled on the sofa and eating peppermint ice cream together. Horrifying.”

 

“But Dee! I gotta get in all my Meta time afore Kirby takes him away!”

 

“He’ll only be gone for a week,” Bandanna Dee said. "You act like Kirby's taking him sailing around Pop Star."

 

“That’s too long,” Dedede whined. “Who am I gonna fight with if Meta _and_ Pipsqueak are gone?”

 

A timer beeped in the kitchen. Bandanna Dee looped his arm around Kirby’s shoulders. “Hot cocoa,” Bandanna Dee said.

 

Kirby’s eyes lit up. “Marshmallows?” he asked.

 

“Is there any other way to make hot chocolate?” Bandanna Dee asked.

 

In a sudden movement, Meta Knight freed himself of Dedede; evidently, hot chocolate took priority to everything else in Meta Knight’s life. Dedede looked comically offended. “I bought mint leaves for it, too,” Meta Knight said. “ _Mint_ leaves.”

 

“Oh—like for chocolate mint?” Kirby asked. “That sounds amazing!”

 

Meta Knight nodded.

 

“I cain’t believe he just abandoned me like that,” Dedede said, climbing to his feet. “I’m coming in second to hot chocolate!”

 

“ _Everything_ comes second to hot chocolate, except for Galaxia,” Meta Knight replied. “Sorry, not sorry.”

 

Kirby may or may not have laughed at Dedede’s agape mouth.

 

“Well, come on, boys,” Bandanna Dee said, striding into the kitchen.

 

No one needed to tell Kirby twice. Nor Meta Knight, it seemed. “Tea is so much better than cocoa,” Dedede said mischievously.

 

“You are objectively wrong,” Meta Knight replied, grabbing a bag of marshmallows from the cabinets. “Obviously, cocoa is superior to tea.”

 

“Why are we fighting over beverages?” Bandanna Dee asked as he moved the pot of beautiful-smelling, decadent chocolate to a cool eye on the stove.

 

“Making up for all the arguments I ain’t gonna be able to have next week,” Dedede said, pecking Meta Knight on the cheek.

 

“Aren’t they cute?” Bandanna Dee stage-whispered as he carefully poured hot chocolate into their mugs.

 

“Absolutely adorable,” Kirby replied, grinning and bumping his shoulder against Bandanna Dee’s.

 

"Especially with that obnoxious, silver bow Meta Knight has in his hair. Think he forgot about it?" Bandanna Dee whispered.

 

The silver bow, regardless of how horrifically tacky it was, actually  _did_ look nice in Meta Knight's dark blue hair. "Definitely," Kirby replied. "I hope he wears it all day."


	5. Black Forest (NightmarexQueen Sectonia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For toon-kirby who said: I saw what you said in the tags of the Meta/Sectonia post, so how about 79 (I think that's the "would you like some tea" one) with Nightmare and Sectonia? I think that could be interesting.

The Nightmare Wizard gazed thoughtfully at the former queen, who’d inadvertently wandered into his realm. Nightmare had never been attracted to anyone. Love and romance were both delusions that a celestial being like himself had neither time nor desire for.

 

But the Queen’s power hung about her like the sun in the sky, and Nightmare liked power very much.

 

Nightmare’s realm was a dark forest, cloaked with fresh snow and broken by startlingly beautiful strips of starlight. He kept his distance, flitting at the edges of the Queen’s awareness, teasing her powers so that they crackled around his. Nightmare’s gifts were a subtle weaving of darkness; she couldn’t possibly sense him. Very few creatures could, and those that could sense Nightmare’s magic usually met painful and slow ends.

 

Except for _him_ , but the things that the Nightmare Wizard would do if he ever had Meta Knight of Dreamland at his mercy were better left unsaid.

 

The Queen was tiring. She was a creature of light, but unlike most creatures of light—unlike Kirby and Dedede and his pathetic host of waddle dees—her light was dangerous and blinding. Too hot and too bright.

 

Nightmare revealed himself by the river, making himself a bit smaller but equally imposing. The Queen paused, violet eyes cold and suspicious when she found him wrapped in shadows. “You’re very far from home,” Nightmare said. “Welcome. I am Lord Nightmare, the master of this world of dreams.”

 

“This place isn’t real?” the Queen asked.

 

“Ah, it is very real, although not—perhaps—in the sense you may think.”

 

She seized him up with her eyes. Her hands coiled tightly around the handles of her rapiers. “And is it by your power or mine that I’ve found this place? You radiate power, Lord Nightmare, but you stand in the presence of Queen Sectonia, She Who Holds the Stars.”

 

Nightmare bowed elegantly and smiled privately to himself. “Your own,” he said. “Usually, only those that have succumbed to their inner darkness or fears find themselves here. Those who have met with some misfortune or another. Perhaps, you’d like to tell me about it. Would you like some tea? It might provide a bit of warmth, Your Majesty. Alas, my realm is perpetually cold. It's an unfortunate side-effect of being the Lord of Darkness and Nightmares.”

 

The Nightmare Wizard clicked his fingers, materializing an elegant tea set, which floated in the air at his whim. The wizard poured the tea, warm and sweet, into two teacups. He offered the Queen one, and she accepted, taking a dainty sip.

 

“I was defeated by the Hero of the Lower World,” she said, “Partly due to the incompetence of my servants. I was going to be the Goddess of Pop Star.”

 

Nightmare’s face stretched into a wicked grin. This was better than he’d expected. “Oh, my. We may have something in common, then. I don’t particularly care about Pop Star,” he said, waving a dismissive hand, “But Dreamland is another matter entirely. I’ve a grudge against a hero, myself, and I’d very much like to have my revenge. Wouldn’t you?”


	6. Ice to Meet You Pt. 1 (Queen SectoniaxMeta Knight)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minxyjinxylovescookies said: A pairing? Well.... Let's see....Meta Knight and Sectonia! *Runs away*
> 
> *I resisted the urge to do something complex and tragic in the name of holiday fluff and playing with the duality of Dark/Meta.
> 
> **Since she didn't request a prompt, I decided to go with 128.2 "Seriously did you dye your hair blue for winter?"

Sectonia stood in the locker room of her university’s rapier team, toweling her hair dry from her recent shower. This was no simple feat, for Sectonia’s hair was a thick mass of curls that reached halfway down her back.  If she rubbed it too vigorously, it would frizz, so instead, she squeezed and pulled. It was a slow and steady method that usually warded off most of the frizz. The familiar chime of her phone cut the air. Sectonia’s breath was in her throat.

 

Surely, not again. Surely, he wasn’t canceling again. He’d promised.

 

Sectonia draped her towel over her shoulders and hesitantly unlocked her phone. The name _Dark de los Espejos_ was in her notifications.

 

Not again. Not again, not again, not again. Sectonia swiped right, bringing the message on the screen.

 

_Sorry, Nia. I can’t make it again. It’s my father. He’s in the hospital._

Was Sectonia a terrible person for the flash of anger that struck her? It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Dark’s father. It was that Dark _always_ had an excuse. Since their fateful match-up on StarMatch, Floralia’s most well-known dating app, they’d spent months exchanging messages and photos. They’d logged hours of conversations. Sectonia had finally begun to think that she’d found someone who was on her level.

 

Dark was smart and supported her dream of being a shredded, powerful swordsman. He wasn’t intimidated by Sectonia’s muscles or her five-foot-nine inches, and after she’d sent videos of her fights, Dark had seemed legitimately impressed rather than threatened by Sectonia’s success in competitive swordsmanship, which was still widely considered a masculine sport in most countries.

 

Dark’s photos presented a very attractive picture, too. His skin was warm and autumn-brown, hinting at Halcandran heritage. He had a nice, model-like face with high cheekbones, and aristocratic nose, and wide gold eyes surrounded by the thickest lashes Sectonia had ever seen on a man. There was something vaguely mischievous about his smile and about his hair, a fashionable ice-blue that faded to white at the tips, giving him the appearance of a winter sprite. He’d dyed it for the winter; he’d explained. Dark was gifted with naturally blond hair, so he dyed it every color imaginable.

 

He even came with a fortune left by his late father, and Dark was quite liberal in sending Sectonia many nice presents, from expensive furs to jewels. It’d made her uneasy at first, but uneasiness faded to flattery as their relationship progressed.

 

He'd seemed like the perfect man, but Dark de los Espejos had one fatal flaw. He had yet to make any of the in-person dates they’d scheduled.

 

_Dear Nova! I’m so sorry. Don’t worry about it. Please, stay with your father!_

 

Sectonia swallowed back her bitterness and pressed ‘send.’

 

The reply was quick.

 

_Sorry, again. Maybe next time. <3_

Sectonia sat on a nearby bench and sighed. One of her teammates entered, starting when he saw her. Sectonia couldn’t remember his name; she didn’t think they’d ever even had a conversation. She didn’t think any man had ever stared so blatantly at her cleavage, which was quite noticeable even with her sports bra making her look at least a cup size smaller. To his credit—or perhaps, because he’d remembered Coach Blade’s speech about making the team’s _one_ female member feel comfortable—he recovered quickly, snapping his eyes up to meet Sectonia’s. “Still here?” he asked.

 

“I was showering and texting my boyfriend,” Sectonia said.

 

It was always good to mention her boyfriend early; it warded away most unwanted attention and prevented any misinterpretation of Sectonia’s feelings.

 

“Oh, yeah! I think one of the guys mentioned that. It’s an online thing, right? Have you ever seen him in person?”

 

“No. We’ve made plans, but he’s a very busy man. He’s had to cancel,” Sectonia said, knowing from many conversations exactly what her teammate’s response would be.

 

“You sure he isn’t catfishing you?”

 

“Of course, he isn’t,” Sectonia replied.

 

* * *

 

 

Sectonia’s teammate wasn’t the first to suggest that she was being catfished. Taranza, Sectonia’s closest friend, had insisted that Dark was probably really a sixty-year-old pervert pretending to be twenty-one and preying on young women. Kirby, Sectonia’s eccentric biology partner, was more tactful; he’d merely suggested that—maybe—it wouldn’t hurt just to be _sure_. After all, Sectonia was a young woman, and no matter her strength, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for someone to target her for a scam. Susie, Sectonia’s roommate, had been much less tactful and flat-out told Sectonia that no man was _that_ perfect. Was Dark also related to Nightmare Nocturne, Dreamland’s wealthiest CEO?

 

But Sectonia still hesitated. The idea of reverse image-searching Dark’s photos had been twisting like a snake in her mind for months. Was she being a bad girlfriend for doubting all Dark’s promises? All his praises of her beauty and strength, all his sweet love poems, all his romantic gifts?

 

Sectonia took a deep breath. No, she shouldn’t feel any guilt over this. She was a powerful, intelligent, beautiful, independent woman. She was smart enough to know that—above all else—she needed to be safe. She needed to _know_.

 

The second it took Google to process Dark’s photo seemed like an eternity. Sectonia’s breath caught when the image appeared many, _many_ times. She clicked one, which led to a profile of Dreamland’s non-traditional weaponry team. This would’ve been an unexpected thing if it weren’t for one tiny, massive, horrible thing—

 

This profile, sponsored by the DLSL—or Dreamland Sports League—was for a Dreamlandic-Halcandran man named Meta Knight de Brillante Armadura.

 

Sectonia sank back in her chair. She’d really been so foolish, hadn’t she? She never should’ve let herself be taken in by this sham of a romance. She never should’ve tried online dating. She should’ve _caught_ this.

 

Sectonia wanted to scream and break down crying all at once, but Susie was in the other room. Susie would surely come running if Sectonia reacted like that. And Sectonia wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Sectonia’s chest hurt from the icy, watery realization that she’d been conned and from the hard, burning desire to call Dark and tear into him for deceiving her like this. That sorry son of a scarfy deserved _every_ horrible, twisted thing she was thinking.

 

But Nova’s grace, it still hurt too much. No, vengeance was best saved for when she was thinking more clearly. After all, if she called Dark out on it, he’d probably just block her like the coward he was. This needed to be thought through; he needed to learn a lesson.

 

She glared at Meta Knight’s profile as if he had personally offended her, although he was likely blameless in the entire matter. Still, maybe he deserved to know that someone was masquerading as him, or, at least, using his image. Sectonia clicked the ‘contact’ box on Meta Knight’s profile and typed in her message:

 

_Hello,_

_You don’t know me, but I thought you should know that there’s some guy using your photos on StarMatch. His name is Dark de los Espejos. Anyway, I just thought you should know. I’ve been dating him for months, and I guess I thought it was you. Just a head’s up. If you actually read these comments, but these probably go to an agent or something, right? And I’ll get a response in four or five months._

_Thank you,_

_Sectonia_


	7. All Wrapped Up (RibbonxFluff)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For @fragmentaryremains who said: "Hm, for the winter prompt list, here's a weird (and slightly silly) idea for one: Ribbon and Prince Fluff, 23. Because in a way, they both relate to materials one can use for wrapping presents (Ribbon has her name, and Prince Fluff of course has all of Patchland and it's fabrics and such)."
> 
> *This is honestly the cutest idea ever.

Fluff stared at the lumpy mass of shiny red paper; it’s been scratched silver in places, in protest of the neglect that it had surely received. An alarming amount of pre-made silver bows covered half the present, creating a strange, prickly mess. “You’re useless with wrapping presents,” Fluff told the fairy before him. “This is…quite remarkable even. It’s practically art.”

 

Ribbon groaned. “I _know_ ,” she replied. “I swear I tried really hard.”

 

Fluff knew she had; he'd heard the violent crackling of wrapping paper and Ribbon's soft mutterings drifting into the hallway. At first, he'd assumed the fairy had met with some terrible accident in Castle Dedede, a misplaced scarfy or the week's eldritch abomination, but then, he'd entered and found a massive tower of abused wrapping paper and ribbon, and from beneath that massive structure, Ribbon's head had popped up, her offending present clasped tightly in her small hands.

 

“Well, I’m sure Kirby will appreciate it regardless,” Fluff said.

 

Truth be told, Kirby would appreciate  _anything_. He very much followed the philosophy of 'it's the thought that counts.'

 

Ribbon’s critical eye turned to the present Fluff had wrapped. He'd been on his way to deliver it to Kirby's door when he'd heard Ribbon's distress. Unlike Ribbon's unholy abomination, Fluff's gift was even and shiny, all its corners well defined and its bow perfectly formed and sized by Fluff’s careful nubs. “I’m so jealous,” Ribbon said, gazing longingly at Fluff’s paper-wrapped perfection.

 

Fluff patted her back in what he hoped was interpreted as being in a sympathetic manner. Ribbon had surely worked very hard, and it was really a pity that her efforts had come to naught. “If it’s any consolation, I spent years under the tutelage of my parents’ court sorcerer, who was an absolute master of wrapping,” Fluff said.

 

Fluff felt a sharp pang of sadness with the admission; the court sorcerer had been Yin-Yarn. There was no need, though, to burden dear Ribbon with his worries of past conflicts and misplaced fondness. A very small part of Fluff missed Yin-Yarn this time of year—the way the man would sing (horribly off-key) and dance, whilst ordering the wrapping paper, the ribbons, and the tape. Every action was edged with a particular fluidity and a remarkable energy.

 

Ribbon furrowed her brow, seeming to catch some of Fluff’s melancholy but finding herself unable to interpret it. “So you’ll help me, then,” Ribbon said.

 

“That would be the princely thing to do,” Fluff replied, puffing himself up a bit.

 

Fluff was going to be a gallant, fairy tale prince someday, and obviously, one of the most important components of being a gallant prince was to help people in need. The other was devastatingly good looks, which Fluff had in excess.

 

Ribbon giggled. “Thank you, Your Royal Highness,” she said, placing a soft peck on Fluff’s cheek. “Show me how it’s done.”


	8. Roaring Good Fun (Metadede)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Meow of the Kirby Copy Ability, who said: - 1. Dedede gets Meta a fire lion and it gets delivered by a U.F.O. crane mailer? So tiny, that aircraft, the lion appears to be is flying over the town. 
> 
> *Set in the Dreamland University AU.

_Hey, Dedede. What did you buy Meta for Christmas?_

 

Dedede, the son of Delilah, Duchess of the Stars, thirty-second in line for the throne, and presently overworked university student, glanced to his right to confirm that Meta Knight was still curled up on the opposite end of the sofa with his nose buried in his astrophysics textbook. He was.

 

_A fire lion plush!! I bought it online._

 

_Cause it’s my sign. :D_

 

_I thought meta would love it!!_

 

_It’d remind him of me!!_

 

Dedede waited. His phone indicated that Bandanna Dee was typing.

 

 _I thought that might be the case_ , Bandanna Dee replied. _Have you looked outside?_

 

Dedede furrowed his brow. _No?_

 

Dedede stood and made a show of stretching. Meta Knight glanced his way, gave Dedede a once-over, and returned to studying the stages of stellar evolution or whatever. “Nerd,” Dedede said.

 

“Jerk.”

 

Dedede smirked and walked to the window. He pushed the curtains aside, looked outside, and screamed. Outside their dorm was a fire lion plush. It a nice plush, clearly well-made. Its red and orange fur shined in the sunlight, and it looked pleasingly like the pictures online. However, Dedede had envisioned a six-inch plush. This one was more like six feet.

 

Holy Nova, that plush was bigger than Meta Knight.

 

“What’s wrong?” Meta Knight asked.

 

 _He can never know_ , Dedede thought.

 

Meta Knight crossed the room, clearly trying to see what had caused Dedede such distress. “No!” Dedede shouted, spinning around and wrapping his hands around Meta Knight’s biceps. “No, no, no! Don’t look! You’ll die!”

 

Meta Knight looked stunned. Then, slowly, his face settled into a mask of indifference. “What. Did. You. Do?” he asked.

 

“Nothing! Nothing! There’s…uh…a naked man outside!”

 

“What?”

 

Dedede’s face burned. “Uh…uh, yeah! Except for a towel! His roommates prolly locked him out! As a joke!”

 

“Then, we ought to help him.”

 

Dedede pulled Meta Knight into a hug, practically shoving the smaller man’s face into his chest. Frantically, Dedede texted, keeping his phone over Meta Knight’s shoulder.

 

_HIDE IT!!!_

 

_How?_

 

“Dedede, what’s wrong—”

 

“I love you!” Dedede exclaimed. “So much!”

 

Panicking, Dedede shoved his mouth against Meta Knight’s. When Dedede pulled back, Meta Knight gaped at him. “Y—you just…”

 

Well, that was a pleasant way to keep Meta Knight from the window and to reduce him into a flustered, shaky mess.

 

An adorable flustered, shaky mess.

 

Dedede’s text alert went off.

 

_In the Halberd. :D_

 

Dedede sighed in relief. “Okay, back to your astrophysics,” he said cheerfully, patting Meta Knight’s shoulder.

 

 _Good_ , Dedede texted. _Meta was about to look outside._

 

A pause.

 

_And you couldn’t just tell him it was his Solstice present?_

 

Oh. Dedede facepalmed. Good one.


	9. Pining Away (Metadede)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For anon who said: 59 + Metadede.
> 
> *59 was "I bought four trees. Don't judge me."
> 
> **University AU, simply because canon Dedede lives in a giant castle; buying four trees probably wouldn't be a big deal for him.

Meta Knight’s jaw dropped. Wordlessly, he stared at the Halberd’s once-gorgeous cherry-red finish. It was covered in something sticky and syrup-colored. There were numerous pine needles in the car’s interior. Meta Knight felt his eye twitch. As he stormed into the dorm, he threw the door open and called his wind magic to him. The wind flew through the apartment, shaking the curtains and ruffling papers and textbooks. Dedede popped around the corner. “Hey, Meta! How was astro—”

 

“What did you do to the Halberd?”

 

“I bought a tree for Saint Knight’s Day,” Dedede said.

 

Oh, Nova’s grace. Meta Knight balked at the visual image of Dedede driving downtown with a tree strapped into his beautiful, glossy car. If they were lucky, only _The Dreamlandic Enquirer_ would end up with photos. “And you tied it to the Halberd? Dedede, the car is a mess!”

 

“It’s _my_ car,” Dedede said. “I can put what I want in her, and ‘sides, I told Mom I was gonna do it. She laughed.”

 

Of course, Duchess Delilah would laugh. She’d probably tie a Saint Knight’s Day tree to her convertible, too. “I—I can’t believe you!” Meta Knight exclaimed.

 

Meta Knight fumed as he trudged past Dedede and into the living room. “Wait! Whatcha doing?”

 

“I’m going to wash the car! And wax it! You can’t leave it covered in needles and tree sap!”

 

Meta Knight halted before he could get a face-full of fir needles. One tree was on its stand. The other three were draped over the sofa. The scent of fir was so thick in the air that Meta Knight could practically taste it.

 

“Yes, I have four trees,” Dedede said. “Don’t judge me.”

 

Buying four trees for Saint Knight’s Day sounded like something she would do. At least, she lived in an estate and not a three-person dorm room. Sure, their apartment was more spacious than many of their peers, but it still didn’t have tons of spare room.

 

“I think I just lost my will to live,” Meta Knight replied.

 

“They were half-off ‘cause the trunks got split,” Dedede explained. “I thought—y’know—why not buy ‘em all? We can put one in the living room—no, two! One on each end. And, uh, one in the kitchen. Maybe one in the bathroom?”

 

“The _bathroom_? There’s no room for a tree in the bathroom!”

 

“Well, I mean, we could always use the tree to…” Dedede trailed off, as Meta Knight leveled his fiercest glare at him.

 

“Dedede, just because you _can_ buy something doesn’t mean you _should_. Nova’s grace…”

 

“This really shouldn’t surprise you,” Dedede said. “I’ve been your manic pixie dream guy since we met!”

 

“Manic pixie dream guy,” Meta Knight deadpanned.

 

“I made sure they were under five-feet, so my favoritest, little knight could help me decorate,” Dedede added slyly. “You can deny it all you wanna, but I _know_ you like decorating for Saint Knight’s Day. We can go shopping together. Pick out all those pretty silver and blue snowflake ornaments you like. Tinsel. Everything.”

 

“I’m not vacuuming up all these needles.”

 

Dedede hugged Meta Knight from behind. “Thank you! My favoritest pet knight, I knew you’d come around! My sweet, dearest Mety Knight!”

 

Meta Knight smiled wryly and leaned into Dedede’s hug. “The fourth tree can go outside. I’m sure the RA won’t mind.”


	10. His Victory Wasn't Mint to Happen (The Four Nerds)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Per Meow of the Kirby Copy Ability's request of having a peppermint pocky game.

Dedede crept closer to his target, who was bent over the counter, surveying an open textbook. Beside him, Bandanna Dee rocked back on his heels. “I think your book is wrong,” Meta Knight said. “You got it right.”

 

“Really?” Bandanna Dee chirped.

 

“Sure. Obviously, this person multiplied incorrectly.” Meta Knight pointed to the problem and continued, “Because if you take the two equations, you have to multiply the six and the six, which equals thirty-six. However, if you instead multiply six times seven, you get forty-two. In that case, you would add the other side—which is twenty. See? Someone made a mistake, and it wasn’t you.”

 

Bandanna Dee clapped his hands together. “Sweet! I _am_ figuring this out, then! Thank you, Meta!”

 

“Of course.”

 

Meta Knight turned around and started. Dedede tried to smirk around the pocky clenched between his teeth. “Cute,” Meta Knight said.

 

Meta Knight reached out and broke a piece off. Dedede nearly choked. After a few seconds of chewing, Meta Knight hummed. “Mm. Nova, I love peppermint.”

 

The doorbell rang.

 

“Hey, Kirby! Is my wallet on the table? I need deden to tip the pizza man,” Meta Knight said, obliviously leaving Dedede with half a stick of pocky and no small amount of dismay.

 

Bandanna Dee burst into laughter the second Meta Knight left the room. Dedede pulled the pocky out of his mouth and stuck his tongue out at Bandanna Dee, which served to make him laugh even harder. “I don’t think Meta Knight is familiar with the pocky game,” Bandanna Dee replied. “Valiant effort, though.”

 

Dedede chewed thoughtfully on his stick of pocky, contemplating the best way to approach this. “You’re scaring me,” Bandanna Dee said.

 

The smell of pizza wafted through the kitchen. Meta Knight approached, carrying the box in one hand, with Kirby following at his heels. “Gentlemen, sustenance has arrived,” Meta Knight declared, bowing with a flourish and placing the pizza box on the oven.

 

Dedede slapped his hand over the box. “No one is eating pizza until we play the pocky game. I’m holding the pizza hostage.”

 

“Really, Dedede?” Bandanna Dee asked.

 

“Yeah, really!” Dedede replied.

 

Meta Knight pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can I somehow limit the number of zany schemes you’re allowed to subject me to during finals week?”

 

“Hey, there’s only been two so far!” Dedede protested.

 

Of course, that _wasn’t_ including the trackers that Dedede had placed in Meta Knight’s Saint Knight’s Day present, but that was another story. And Meta Knight had received those yet, so they didn’t count. Yes.

 

“Nope! Pocky game. Ever played?” Dedede asked.

 

“I haven’t, but I’ve read about it,” Kirby said. “It looks fun!”

 

“Great!” Dedede exclaimed. “You pair with Dee, and I’ll take Mety Knight!”

 

“You realize I have magical powers and can transport the pizza into another dimension, don’t you?” Meta Knight asked.

 

 Dedede ignored the completely valid point and pulled two pocky sticks from his mouth. He handed one to Bandanna Dee, who popped it into his mouth without complaint. Kirby carefully placed the other end of the pocky in his mouth. Meta Knight watched with an adorably intense amount of concentration as Kirby and Bandanna Dee tried to meet in the center. They were almost there when Kirby burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles and snapped it.

 

“Sorry!” Kirby said.

 

Bandanna Dee fist-bumped in victory.

 

Before he even turned, pocky in mouth, Dedede sensed Meta Knight’s glare. “I will participate in this foolish game,” Meta Knight said, “But I swear to Nova, if you try shoving your tongue in my mouth, I will strangle you with your pillow.”

 

Dedede leaned forward, trying to adopt an angelic expression. Warily, Meta Knight obliged. Dedede had fully expected Meta Knight to lose on purpose in an attempt to end the game as quickly as possible, but, rather than doing so, Meta Knight seemed genuinely invested in tying.

 

Their faces were very close together, and Dedede felt his face warm. Meta Knight looked entirely uncharmed, although he’d always been good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to.

 

Dedede felt a hand reach around the back of his head, and Meta Knight winked.

 

The pocky snapped.

 

It took Dedede a few, long seconds to realize precisely what had happened. “Looks like I win,” Meta Knight said in a sing-song voice.

 

“You cheated!” Dedede argued.

 

“I implemented a clever strategy that succeeded in winning your little game,” Meta Knight replied, prying Dedede’s hand off the pizza box. “I’m taking my prize.”

 

Bandanna Dee offered Dedede’s shoulder a sympathetic pat.

 

“Go ahead,” Dedede said, with a sigh.

 

“Whoo! Winners!” Kirby declared, holding his hand out hopefully.

 

“It’s in our genes,” Meta Knight said, bumping Kirby’s fist.

 

Dedede would let Meta Knight have his little pocky game victory, and that victory was going to come at whatever zany scheme Dedede could think up. Meta Knight de Brillante Armadura was about to be introduced to the corner of pay and back.


	11. To Nog or Not to Nog (Metadede)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For @nerd-arcana, who requested #29 and #30, or, more specifically, Meta Knight and Dedede arguing over eggnog like an old married couple.

Meta Knight usually didn’t welcome being ushered out of his own apartment, but it also wasn’t every day that Meta Knight’s presents were being wrapped. “So is two hours enough time?” Meta Knight asked, pulling on his coat.

 

“Uh…better make it three,” Dedede said. “Your present’s kinda…awkward.”

 

Meta Knight hummed. “Need anything while I’m out?”

 

“Eggnog! Like four of them. Two galleon jugs!”

 

Meta Knight wrinkled his nose. “Anything that _doesn’t_ make me want to vomit?”

 

Dedede gasped. “Blasphemy! Eggnog is a gift from the goddess Nova herself.”

 

“Only if Nova hates your guts,” Meta Knight replied, turning to face Dedede.

 

Dedede tapped Meta Knight on the nose. “Listen, you. Eggnog rules! Bite me.”

 

“Ugh, no. Eggnog sucks. Fight me,” Meta Knight paused. “And you’d _better not_ make a lewd joke about ‘sucking.’”

 

Dedede gawked and threw a hand over his heart. “Mety Knighty, would I ever do such a thing?”

 

“ _Gleefully_ ,” Meta Knight replied, “And you’re already on thin ice.”

 

“What? What did I do?”

 

“The naked man incident.”

 

“I panicked—”

 

“The four trees.”

 

“You gotta admit they look awesome! And the whole apartment smells great!”

 

“You pinned me to the ground, gave me carpet burn, and put that awful, tacky bow in my hair.”

 

“Technically, Dee put the bow—”

 

“You egged him on!” Meta Knight retorted.

 

“Egged, eggnog,” Dedede muttered, moving his hands up and down, as if he was weighing something tangible.

 

Meta Knight narrowed his eyes.

 

“There’s a pun in that,” Dedede said.

 

“Please, refrain from sharing.”

 

Dedede grabbed the lapels of Meta Knight’s coat and pulled him closer. Meta Knight put his hands on Dedede’s wrists, but made no attempt to move them. “Only if you agree to buy my eggnog, caballerito,” Dedede said. “Eight galleons.”

 

“Six. You’re going to die from some sort of lactose overdose.”

 

Dedede released Meta Knight, who strode away and snagged his scarf off the kitchen counter.

 

“Then, I’ll die a happy man,” Dedede replied. “Bury me with my eggnog.”

 

Meta Knight looped his scarf around his neck and bit the inside of his cheek, hiding his smile. “I’ll bury you behind the humanities building,” Meta Knight said.

 

“As long as you let me have my last glass of eggnog before you murder me,” Dedede replied.

 

Meta Knight grabbed his keys off the counter and rolled his eyes. “I’ll be back in a few hours,” Meta Knight said, waving over his shoulder and heading to the door. “Text me if you decide you need something that _isn’t_ disgusting.”

 

“Oh, I want a Mety Knight!”

 

Meta Knight paused and sorted through his options. He was still new to this relationship thing, and it wasn’t as if he’d had much experience with romance to work off. Hesitantly, he looked over his shoulder and winked. “I’m a bit beyond your budget, but I suppose I’ll humor you,” Meta Knight replied, “Even if you’re making me buy your disgusting eggnog.”

 

Dedede’s smug grin seemed to indicate the Meta Knight handled romance just fine.


	12. Don't Sweat It, Boys (The Four Nerds)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For @metaknightmare and their adorable thoughts on the four nerds and their love of holiday sweaters.

Dedede smiled widely as he held up the unholy, Nova-cursed abomination: a chunky, navy blue sweater featuring Saint Knight, the character responsible for painting the leaves in autumn and ushering in winter. He was a thin, spindly figure, surrounded by snowflakes, and the sweater showed him in a sleigh made of blue crystal, being pulled by twelve felt cats.

 

“Yes, you should buy it,” Meta Knight said, trying to subtly move towards something more fashionable.

 

Like the wool coats. Those looked very nice.

 

“I actually like these tacky things,” Bandanna Dee said, admiring a thick, green sweater with bits of silver thread woven in. “My parents would never let me wear something like this.”

 

“That’s sad,” Kirby said. “You have to get one, then! I’ll get one, too!”

 

“We should all buy them and take holiday pictures!” Dedede exclaimed. “Send ‘em to Mom and everyone.”

 

“I’ll be the photographer,” Meta Knight offered.

 

Dedede roared with laughter. “No, no. We’ll hire a _real_ photographer. I ain’t letting you get out of participating in this. I’m gonna buy it for you,” Dedede said. “Where’s a small?”

 

“I am a gentleman of class and—”

 

“And _because_ you’re such a classy gentleman, you’ll wear this sweater ‘cause I bought it for you. You sure ain’t gonna turn down something your doting liege bought for you, hmm?”

 

“On the contrary, _because_ you’re my liege, and I care about you, I’m obligated to tell you how I _really_ feel. And I feel that sweater is an unholy abomination that will cause irreparable harm to our reputations.”

 

“More harm than the time I stepped on the Crown Princess’s ermine-trimmed cape and caused her to fall into the punch bowl at the Queen’s winter ball?” Dedede asked.

 

Meta Knight winced in sympathy both for Dedede’s mortification and Sectonia’s embarrassment. The princess had been wearing a one-of-a-kind, white gown that day, and the punch had been _incredibly_ red.

 

Kirby practically screamed, temporarily halting Meta Knight and Dedede’s argument. Beaming, Kirby held up a horrifically tacky sweater with the words ‘World’s Okayest Brother’ spattered over the chest. “Look, Meta Knight! I mean, I think _best brother_ would be better, but we could match!”

 

Meta Knight stared numbly at the sweater. Then, at Kirby’s smiling face. The sweater. Kirby. Sweater. Kirby.

 

“I…I’ll wear it for you,” Meta Knight said.

 

Kirby clapped his hands together in excitement, the sound muffled by the wool sweater in his hands. “Thank you!” Kirby chirped. “Thank you! Thank you! You’re the best!”

 

“Ain’t he, though?” Dedede asked, nonchalantly pulling a sweater in Meta Knight’s size. “Such a good, sweet Mety Knight! Making his liege and brother happy!”

 

Meta Knight rolled his eyes and eyed the sweater again. Dedede had the nerve to pat Meta Knight’s head as if driving home just how _good_ Meta Knight was. “Someday,” Meta Knight said, “I’m going to get you back for this. Mark my words.”

 

“I’m up for the challenge,” Dedede joked, “And I await your revenge, Meta Knight. My dearest, favoritest pet knight.”

 

Meta Knight heaved a longsuffering sigh, grabbed a sweater, and shoved it into Dedede’s arms. “You’re wearing this one,” Meta Knight said.

 

Dedede unrolled the sweater and laughed. “Let’s get elfed up? Is that what you’re gonna do to me? Elf me up?”

 

“I thought you’d appreciate the pun, but if you continue tormenting me like this...” Meta Knight trailed off ominously.

 

“I’d still be careful,” Bandanna Dee said slyly. “Meta Knight knows where you sleep at night.”

 

“He might…um…eat cake and not let you have any!” Kirby exclaimed, with an overdramatic amount of earnestness.

 

Dedede gasped. “No, my precious Mety Knight would never engage in such cruel and unusual behavior! You lie!”

 

Meta Knight tossed his sweater into Dedede’s face. Predictably, Dedede staggered backward, feigning that he’d been mortally wounded. Meta Knight patted Kirby’s shoulder and exchanged a wry smile with Bandanna Dee. “Looks like he’s dead,” Meta Knight said. “Alas, poor Dedede.”


End file.
